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Lesson Four “Understanding Your Core Identity”
Key Points
- All of us have a public self that others see as well as our own private thoughts and feelings, but we also have a deeper self which could be called the “core self.”
- Many people waste a lot of time and energy worrying about what others think or say about them. Some even try to control what others think or say about them, even though this is impossible to do and wastes a lot of energy!
- Example of Nelson Mandela, who spent 26 years in prison for trying to bring freedom to his people. He was beaten and mistreated by his jailers, but instead of reacting in anger or with resentment, Nelson Mandela treated his jailers with respect and concern for their lives. Why? Because he understood his core value, his core self, that nothing anyone did or said to him could reduce his core value and that he himself should do nothing to diminish it either. Because he treated his jailers with respect, they stopped beating him and began to try to help him. Use Nelson Mandela, “Public Self/Core Self” and “What’s pulling your train?”
Activities
- Discussion questions
- Recommended: Mandela movie
Lesson Five “Luck, Fate or Choice?”
Key Points
- Read story excerpt from Charlotte’s Web. We all desire freedom, but we also fear the uncertainty it brings. We are tempted to trade our freedom for more familiar, comfortable things in the same way that Wilbur the pig traded his freedom for food and the security of having others take care of him. We are tempted to give up our freedom to “fit in”.
Activities
- Discuss Questions for Reflection
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Lesson Six “Attitudes, Habits, and Character = Destiny”
Key Points
- Read “Winston’s Story” and story of Viktor Frankl. Discuss how both stories show that in the face of difficulties we may not be able to choose our circumstances (what happens to us) but we are free to choose our attitude. Attitudes lead to habits which create your character which create your destiny. Refer to slide “Free to choose our response”
- Discuss examples of Jackie Joyner Kersee and Michael Jordan. Neither were immediate successes. Both made mistakes, but learned from their parents, coaches, and teachers. Both persevered. Yet their success was not just based on athletic ability alone. Use “Just Athletic Ability?” and “Choosing Your Freedom” slide.
Lesson Seven “Dealing with Anger and other Emotions”
Key Points
- Some people try to cover their emotions by pretending that “I don’t care” or “Nothing bothers me”, but aren’t they just hiding from deeper layers of emotions such as anger, pain, and fear? If they dealt with these emotions honestly they would find that “below” these emotions are feelings of relief, pleasure, trust, and love.
- We all need to learn how to communicate, how to avoid “dirty fighting”
- Good emotional management and self-awareness which include feeling compassion for ourselves and others can help us to avoid dangerous risk-taking and self-destructive behaviors. Use “Emotional Volcano”
- Even people who love each other disagree from time to time. We all need to learn how to accept differences in ideas and how to assert own our views in a confident, but respectful way. These skills could be called “Fair Fighting.” They include: 1. Ask permission. 2. Think about your complaint before you speak. 3. State your complaint. 4. Stop and let the listener restate what you have said. 5. Say what you want. 6. Stop and let the listener restate your request. 7. Express appreciation for being heard. 8. Partner’s turn to respond. 9. Come to an agreement.
Activities
- Discuss Questions for Reflection
- Roleplay “Dirty Fighting” and “Fair Fighting”
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