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Matters pertaining to marriage, family, and religion--the subject matter of the RCF Project--at first seemed far removed from the September 11 disaster at the World Trade Center.
There the issues were life versus death, terrorism versus principled dissent, democracy versus tyranny, the separation of religion and state versus theocracy.
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But in the aftermath of this great human tragedy, it also became a story about children, parents, marriage, and singleness.
There are estimates that as many as 15,000 children will have been robbed of one or more of their parents.
Many parents, it seems, were single
parents; with their death their children must now find a new home--
possibly with grandparents, other relatives, or the estranged or
absent parent. A new loneliness is reported to be sweeping over
young, free, and once happy singles of the fast-paced life of New
York city. Unattached young men and women, we are told, are now
turning to other singles, renewing friendships, trying to find that
old crowd, and wondering whether they are missing something by
not having a mate, a family, someone to care for, or a person to care
for them.
All across the country there are reports that couples who had filed
for divorce are now electing not to go forward with the legal action.
Ministers and justices of the peace claim that the marriage rate has
taken a sudden spurt. Those already married now seem to be valuing
it more. Those unmarried now seem to want a partner and perhaps
offspring who will remain after they are gone. Teachers and parents
are banding together to determine how best to talk about the disaster
with children.
President Bush is telling us to hug our loved ones, and government
leaders are visiting classrooms to reassure students.
The World Trade Center was about politics. Most analyses say it was
not really even about religion. Islam has principles of just war,
forbids taking innocent life, and disdains suicide. So, in the end,
the perpetrators misused religion for misguided political purposes.
But the event was also about marriage, family, and children. In the
name of distorted control of family life -- such as the Taliban
regime enforces in Afghanistan -- they struck at women, children, fathers,
and families in the U.S. In a way so deep, so automatic, and so
reflexive as to suggest that it comes from something deep in the
human psyche, individuals seem to be turning to their families in
profound new ways.
This leaves us with a question. Does it take disasters to remind us
of the importance of good marriages and vital families?
Do we have to be scared out of our wits to realize the essential value of these
realities for our lives? Wouldn't it be better to create an abiding
culture that supports and encourages these institutions, prepares us
for them, maintains them once created, honors them in everyday life
even when times are good and easy, and helps renew them when they
meet their inevitable trials?
Must we wait for a war, a bomb, an attack, or wild airplanes crashing
into our most magnificent buildings to force us to acknowledge and
value what we should cherish all along?
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